Wednesday, March 11, 2020
Why This Mom Chose to Be a Surrogate 4 Times
Why This Mom Chose to Be a Surrogate 4 Times Surrogacy is rising in popularity in the United States and not just for celebrities like Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. Over the past two decades, thousands mora are turning to gestational carriers, people who carry an implanted embryo to term, as they seek alternative measures to expand their families. Despite its prevalence, tzu sichbeibeie are still a lot of stigmas and questions surrounding surrogacy. The answers arent always easy to find either, as surrogacy laws vary from state to state. But theres one city hoping to change the narrative Boise, Idaho, which is quickly becoming a hub for surrogates.The city, nestled at the foot of the Rocky Mountains, is at the heart of Made in Boise, a documentary from director Beth Aala (Supermensch The Legend of Shep Gordon) that follows fur gestational carriers and their intended parents through the surrogacy process. The carriers Nicole Williamson, Cindy Floyd, Chelsea Frei, and Sammie Diaz h ave pregnancy experiences that are as varied as the reasons they chose to become surrogates in the first place.Williamson, a mother of two who co-founded surrogacy agency A Host of Possibilities in Boise, says she loves being pregnant and is on her fourth gestational pregnancy in the film Floyd, a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit Nurse and mother of five, felt inspired by the families shes helped at the hospital Frei, a mother of four, believed being a carrier could help her process her stillborn child Diaz, a nail technician and single mother of one wanted to help others while making another income. The women overcome various hurdles during their pregnancies bed rest, blood clots, fielding questions from apprehensive family and friends. But woven throughout the film is a message of hope.You hear so many negative things about surrogacy, Williamson tells SheKnows. You never see or hear the positive stuff.A number of horror stories have made national news in recent years traditional surro gates who refuse to give the child to the intended parents a gestational carrier who becamepregnant with her own child while carrying for another couple and underwent an extensive legal battle to get him back intended parentsasking surrogates to abort one or more fetuses. These instances have inspired some surrogates todemand more comprehensive laws nationwide, taking their case to the Supreme Court.While she acknowledges these terrible experiences do occur, Williamson says there are a lot of misconceptions about surrogacy.Its very much a thought-out process, she says. Its not something somebody goes into blindly and becomes a surrogate. There are a lot of steps to go through its very intentional. I dont think women are being exploited.Idaho doesnt have any laws governing surrogacy, but everyone who goes through A Host of Possibilities has legal representation, and no one is a traditional surrogate (in which the carrier donates an egg), Williamson explains. Her company also takes th orough measures following the American Society for Reproductive Medicinessurrogacy guidelines before onboarding new surrogates. Potential carriers go through comprehensive health and home screenings, undergo psychological evaluations and background checks, and meet with the intended parents before theyre given the green light. The entire process can take months.And though surrogates do make between $28,000 to $38,000, Williamson says that the money isnt the sole motivator for the majority of the carriers she knows.The money piece Its compensation for carrying, but its not going to make them this loving person, she says. There is a heart behind each surrogacy, and there is a reason why were doing it, and its to help somebody out. Its not just so that we get money. Its very much that you have this opportunity to help somebody and you can, so you choose to do it.So far, Williamson estimates A Host of Possibilities has helped about 200 families and has worked with 180 carriers. While fa milies from all over the United States choose surrogates in Idaho, 75% of people who use Williamsons agency are from other countries where surrogacy is illegal. Williamson credits the boom to an increase in Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART), such as in-vitro fertilization, around the world (there were more than284,000 ART cycles in the U.S. in 2017, according to the CDC).But why are so many surrogates in Boise? I think, one, theres just a really healthy lifestyle here. A lot of surrogates are very healthy and very active, Williamson explains, adding that the cost in Idaho is also lower than states like California.Williamson also stresses that the carriers have a lot of control over their bodies throughout the process. They decide how theyd like to deliver (C-section, vaginal, scheduled induction) and if theyd like to breastfeed or supply milk for the intended families.Of course, if youre going to be a carrier, you need to be okay withall that pregnancy entails shots, labs, swo llen ankles, nausea, and all. This was never an issue for Williamson, who says she loves everything about being pregnant, even the weight. After she and her husband, Don, had their two children, Williamson said she knew she wanted to be pregnant again. I think being agestational surrogate gave me an opportunity to experience that and, of course, it gave me an opportunity to help people who couldnt have a baby on their own, which was amazing, she says.While carrying a child for someone else can complicate things at home, Williamson says her children were supportive through all four of her surrogate pregnancies.Kids are so amazing, Williamson says. I think my daughter was two when we had our first surrogate baby, and my son was six or seven. Literally, we just told them this couple cant have a baby, so were going to carry for them. And then, when we have the baby, were going to give it back to them because its their baby. Theyre like, OK. Really, its that simple. Just be honest with y our kids.Williamson says shes officially done being a surrogate after this last round. Though shell miss being pregnant, shes gained a valuable new perspective on life, as well as lifelong friendships with all of her intended parents. She keeps in touch with every family shes helped build and views them as extended family they exchange holiday cards and even go on family vacations. The relationships might seem unconventional, but Williamson hopes that sharing these stories will inspire more people to become gestational carriers in the near future.When youve had these amazing pregnancies, you dont think about Im going to do this amazing thing and great thing for them, she says. You are like, I have great pregnancies so why would I not do this for them? Why would I not help somebody out? Thats really our mentality Why would I not do this for somebody else because they cant? Madison Medeiros--This story originally appeared on SheKnows.
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